I have been having an ongoing conservation with Rob Kaiser from the All Around Growth Podcast on the subject of spirituality. The conservation reminded me of some poetry and some thoughts I had on this topic. I wrote these thoughts years ago, but they seem relevant today.
A Quiet Despair
My heart is numb to this pain I feel
I do not understand why I feel no remorse
My soul is callous to the sin I bear
This evil clings to my heart in a quiet despair
I do not realize what has become of me
Like everyone else, I feel lost and confused
I cry to God, wondering why I am this way
And alone I sit in my quiet despair, all alone
The remoteness that I feel causes me to hide
I hide away from what I really am
My soul thirsts for you but yet I deny
And hold on to something that is hard to let go
So alone I sit in my quiet despair, all alone
It was not until recently, when I departed from “religion” that I began to understand my relationship with God. My departure from church was an attempt to grow closer to God. I did not want to go to church so I simply did not go. Why should we feel that we always have to go to church because that is what we are supposed to do. I want to go to church for the right reasons. I needed time away so God could bring that desire back into my heart. I have to believe it 100% in my heart for it to be real to me.
Check out another blog post titled Finding my Path.
There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.C.S. Lewis